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Steve I have to disagree that gdneer is not an issue. Just like with girls, boys are bombarded with images and stereotypes of what being a man should be. In particular, humor and harrassment about being gay starts very young, and boys learn early that even though they have no clue what gay is, being gay is something they want to avoid like the plauge. Of course, gayness is associated with all the feminine traits, like expressing a range of emotions, being vulnerable, caring for others, and working together to create community. Instead, our boys are driven to compete, to win, to keep emotions (other than anger) in check, and not to show or talk about their own needs. It is a very isolating traning we receive. As to how to help boys not become that way, I think the first order of business is good modeling. If they see a parental relationship that demonstrates mutual respect and fairness, they will believe that partner relationships should have those qualities. It also requires that we start very young thinking carefully about what messages we are giving our boys. Do we only get excited when they win? Do we discourage them from non-manly pursuits such as dolls or snuggling or crying? But beyond our own behavior, I think it is vitally important to deconstruct media images and common social behavior. I talk with my boys (I have three and none are Jerks) about songs and movies that glorify violence or that make stalking or harassment seem romantic,' or that show masculinity connecting with smoking, substance abuse, and toughness. I confront them when they use the term gay to describe something bad. I generally am willing to talk about how they feel about things, but also bring up topics that may be uncomfortable for them to raise themselves. I'm not saying I have it all down, but those are the three areas I worked on and it seems to have had the right impact. It's a great question and one I think we haven't asked enough. We have spent a lot of time working on the image of women in the media and society, but men are just as affected, and if we are proactive about this, I think we can (and actually already have) bring about significant change. - Steve


Wonderful opportunity for growthful exchange and gaining a deeper understanding of how a brotherhood can help develop the mature masculine and actually apply it to real-life situations and challenges and come out smiling! All held together beautifully by Sujith's lovely energy, spiritual experience, anecdotes and big smile! Thanks again.


This book is something that has to become part of our daily journey in life: it's a meditative book, it's a path of growth.


Deep, inspiring and precious! A gift for our hearts and spirits with his Wisdom and Humility

Anja Hulskotter

Sujith's life story truely amazes me. He has been a great teacher and source of inspiration for me for some time now. In his new book he combines ancient Indian wisdom with his personal insights in a way that men as well as women can draw their lessons from it and really grow.

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